Ever seen the movie Network? The part where the main dude starts losing his mind and starts going "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"? That's where I am right now. I am 26 years old and over 350 pounds....and I don't know how I got here. Oh sure, I know how....but why? Why did I get here? It seems that just yesterday I was wearing everything in my closet and now my options are limited to "kinda fits", "sausage fest", "circus tents" and "muumuus". Again, how the HELL did I get here? I', so disgusted with myself. I thought that I was happy with myself...I can live with being big; I have great friends & a great job so who cares....blah blah blah. But today, it hit me. I was straightening up the living room and bent over, and about killed myself. Between the rush of blood to my head and the shortness of breath, I could barely pick up the stuff off the floor! 26 YEAR OLDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIKE THIS!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???? I'll tell you how. 30-45% of my income goes to food, and we're not even talking groceries. I'm talking fast food, eating at restaurants, ordering in....45% of my income. I could have bought a car AND put a down payment on a house by now, especially with the conditions the housing market is in right. Oh yeah...I bought a house...I'M THE HOUSE!!!! I'm done with this. I want to be able to breathe! I want to be able to play tennis and racquetball with my sister and not have to fake an injury because I simply can't stop panting and I feel like my ass is going to light on fire from the amount of rubbing together that my thighs are doing. I want to feel good and LOOK good.I want to shop at places like Charlotte Rousse and Forever 21 because stuff there is DIRT CHEAP! IT'S EXPENSIVE TO BE THIS FAT!! I want to go out and dance and shake my ass without knocking out the people behind me with my current ass! I want my life back. And I want to fall hopelessly in love and have children. That's all I want in life....and I can't do it now with the way things are. We I have to change and it has to happen now. No more oreos.
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