Happy Sex and the City Weekend!

So I hope everyone who reads this (probably nobody, but oh well!) went out and paid homage to the world's four favorite girls! I just love this show and the movie didn't disappoint. I actually went out with my mom and it was aLOT of fun. It's amazing how well you get along with someone in your family once you're not living with them anymore. I always used to think that my stepmom was just another evil bitch....but as I grew older and removed the perpetual stick in my ass left over from my teen years, I really came to appreciate my stepmom. She's awesome and I adore her. She's a real woman....someone who I can only hope to become more like if I ever take the plunge and procreate.

Anyway, back to my weight. I weighed in today because I figure that I can count today as my first day toward a better life. I have a tiny bit over six months until my Florida vacation (181 days to be exact) and my big goal has been decided: I want to be able to get on an airplane and use the seat belt provided WITHOUT an extender. It seems like such a ridiculous thing....unless you've been in the moment where you have to ask the C U Next Tuesday of a stewardess for a seat belt extender and she looks at you as if you have taken a dump in the aisle in the plane and are getting ready to eat it. Ok, I know...that was pretty gross and graphic...but anyone who's been in this situation would agree with me that that's pretty accurate. I also don't want to have to go to the Disney World resort and plan out my trip according to what rides I can and can't fit in. That sucks ass as it is right now. My official weight as of today is 362 or as I call it...H O L Y S H I T! It hurts like a motherfer.....but it's ok. It's going to go down and that is that! I had oreos last night.....I've really got to throw those sadistic bitches out pronto!

This is me now

Ever seen the movie Network? The part where the main dude starts losing his mind and starts going "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!"? That's where I am right now. I am 26 years old and over 350 pounds....and I don't know how I got here. Oh sure, I know how....but why? Why did I get here? It seems that just yesterday I was wearing everything in my closet and now my options are limited to "kinda fits", "sausage fest", "circus tents" and "muumuus". Again, how the HELL did I get here? I', so disgusted with myself. I thought that I was happy with myself...I can live with being big; I have great friends & a great job so who cares....blah blah blah. But today, it hit me. I was straightening up the living room and bent over, and about killed myself. Between the rush of blood to my head and the shortness of breath, I could barely pick up the stuff off the floor! 26 YEAR OLDS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIKE THIS!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???? I'll tell you how. 30-45% of my income goes to food, and we're not even talking groceries. I'm talking fast food, eating at restaurants, ordering in....45% of my income. I could have bought a car AND put a down payment on a house by now, especially with the conditions the housing market is in right. Oh yeah...I bought a house...I'M THE HOUSE!!!! I'm done with this. I want to be able to breathe! I want to be able to play tennis and racquetball with my sister and not have to fake an injury because I simply can't stop panting and I feel like my ass is going to light on fire from the amount of rubbing together that my thighs are doing. I want to feel good and LOOK good.I want to shop at places like Charlotte Rousse and Forever 21 because stuff there is DIRT CHEAP! IT'S EXPENSIVE TO BE THIS FAT!! I want to go out and dance and shake my ass without knocking out the people behind me with my current ass! I want my life back. And I want to fall hopelessly in love and have children. That's all I want in life....and I can't do it now with the way things are. We I have to change and it has to happen now. No more oreos.